and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
