Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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