Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
People in love make me want to vomit
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
