So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
