How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's shark week go big or go home
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
