That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
