summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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