I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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