dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
