he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
