I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
