i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
