remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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