I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
