Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So. Much. Porn.
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