my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
