Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
