I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
