she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
