Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
