I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
