YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
In America we eat man semen.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
