Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
