i need an iv and a liver transplant
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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