All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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