Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
