Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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