maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
is it fun? or sober?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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