i permit you to call me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
