Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
