Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
