were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
