I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
