Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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