lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
