3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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