Dual....:-)
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
