? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
