cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
