we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
