you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
