Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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