I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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