Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
