If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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