just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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