It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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