my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
