So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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