Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
