No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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